The Search

Of everything
There is so much more than a name
There is so much more than an age
There is so much more than what you see
There is so much more beyond me


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Apple Pie


Apple Pie...I wish I could share this with all of you.  I baked a fresh apple pie last Saturday, to serve friends coming for dinner.    I had it covered with a towel as we ate our meal, then after I cleared the dinner plates,  I brought it forth and placed it in the middle of the table....I told them we had to set there and contemplate it's worthiness while waited on the coffee to finish.

I love anticipation....... especially of home baked goodies.   I, being the cook, never knows how a particular dish will turn out as food has a way of having it's own mind.  All apples are different, some more tart, some juicier, some tough, and some tender.......did I add enough sweetening and spices?   Did the apples get done?   Is the crust flaky enough?   

As the first piece was sliced and lifted on to the plate, warmed in the microwave and topped with ice cream and set before my guests, I held my breath as each took a taste.......
Watching the expression on their faces, told me this one was a success.    (I have had my failures) but they did not discourage me, I have always kept trying in life to reach perfection.   I've never completely enveloped it, but this came close.  

 Is there really so much more to life than apple pie?   I might have to argue that point..... In my mind, nothing gives my inner soul as much satisfaction as completing a home made meal. Putting simple items together....flour and shortening, rolling it out smooth, peeling fruit, adding sugar and spice and combining it all together, and ending up with dish full of pride.   If you've never baked an apple pie, or made a batch of cinnamon rolls, or a loaf of bread, or baked a cake from scratch.......I urge you to try.   It is the end to all means........

I send you a piece of my pie and my love, I can't think of a better way to express it.

The Hiker

He pitched his tent high in the mountains
With plans to follow the stream come morning
Drifting off to sleep neath clear, starlit skies
Feeling comfort and faith in nature soaring

Waking to sounds of ice falling 
Dawn of light showing layers of snow
The trail down and his path were covered
No guidance with what lay below

Nothing to guide him, but faith
To stay would mean certain death
Relying on his his own instincts
Fear sucked away his breath

A solid path covered in white
He knew not water from ground
Holes and dangers were hidden
Only trust as he was homeward bound.


I knew this hiker, he is my son and he indeed survived……The journey on foot that day was precarious at best. He was dressed only in light clothes wearing lightweight shoes. The storm had moved in quickly without warning, out of the seasonal norm, and left him vulnerable.  He was unprepared for the challenges he met that day. He did find his way down the mountain but with each step he took, he didn’t know if it would hold his weight, or take him over a cliff or into the icy hidden waters, as everything was level and white…… He hiked out on his own faith.

I think about his story a lot as we go thru life…… Sometimes we have no choice but to trust ourselves. We have very little to hold on to and very little to guide us. We can watch for the hidden dangers, and pray that God will see us thru but we have no obvious support. There is so much more to this story, but it’s message is to go forward no matter the dangers, no matter the measure of faith, no matter the outcome. Just keep going and hold tightly to your chances.

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Back appointment

ok, I am home from the dr. I sure like him....I call him dr. B. Anyway, he had a copy of the cat scan that dr. cute had taken in May.....I don't know how he to knew to ask for that, but anyway. he had it, and he looked at it and he showed it to me. The back is still a mess and he understands why it hurts. What he wants to do is have me get another shot first.  (an epidural),  the first one I had two years ago didn't help, and he wants to make sure this one don't help either. (but who knows, maybe it will this time),   then when that's worn off he want's to do another MRI and then probably surgery. He showed us this new little gadget they have now, it's like a little "spacer". They make a tiny slit in the back and stick in this "spacer" made out of stainless steel & titanium in between the disc or somewhere, so the nerve can breathe again, and everybody in there is happy. He said they would put me to sleep, then do it and I'd have to stay overnight, but then they'd send me home the next day and it would help me walk again. It would hold my spine in a position flexed forward, where it was comfortable. ....... I'm pretty sure the reason he wants me to have the shot again is because the insurance would require it.     If he said lets do surgery tomorrow, the ins. company would say "well have you tried the shots"? SO - all of this is just routine. I think the MRI will show them better what the deal is when they actually take the pictures. He said the cat scans are great, but they don't show the 3D on the bone like the MRI's do. SO - the plan is the shot first and hope it works....If it does, for how long, and if it don't, then surgery. We'll take it a step at a time. If you don't understand any of this, don't worry, there is so much more to it, and I guess I'll just trust dr. B because I don't understand it either.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Out There
















Out There

I went out there again
I seen, I played, I tasted
I touched the world and joined in
I did not let a moment be wasted
I laughed with you.

You welcomed me again
You offered your time
You showed me, you taught me
You gave me your prime
You laughed with me.

The comfort is now with me again
The world is quiet and content
The security I yearned for is mine
The satisfaction was lent,
The open door awaited me, and I am home.

Oh boy, there really is “no place like home”. We’ve had such a great time but it’s so nice to be back here in our own little world.

It was fun to see our old friends again at the reunion, and the new outfit was perfect…..The balloon festival was wonderful and awesome, our hosts were gracious and loving.

Returning home brought unloading the car, unpacking, chores to catch up on, and, an opportunity for rest. I’m sure it won’t be long and we’re be ready to get “out there” again……There is always "so much more" out there, and, here........ah, home.