The Search

Of everything
There is so much more than a name
There is so much more than an age
There is so much more than what you see
There is so much more beyond me


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Discovery

Another year......



If last year, 2009 was my year of “Awakening”.....



as it was.....



Then 2010 was my year of “Discovery”.....




In the months following my heart attack in ’09 I worked hard to bring myself and my body back physically and mentally....It honestly did take a full 12 months.....



I’ve found it interesting that numerous times throughout 2010 I would make a statement to someone about something and “sweet thang” would gently remind me that “no hon, that happened last year”..... There are really some parts missing. Probably just as well I don’t know everything, but this year has been a different story......



2010 has been a year of discovering a lot about my new world and how I grew from the years before. there has been much to experience and savor.......



Because of the year before I knew it was time to uncover what was going to keep this old body ticking and it was time to dig deep and start repairing many years of damage.



January heard my doctor tell me it was safe to go off of the blood thinner I had been on for a year, and that it was now ok to have the much needed surgery on my back.... but that we still had some work ahead of us to get my blood levels where he wanted them. I had discovered a whole new world of drugs and medications that had kept me alive and was going to continue to make me better.... Part of all this was finally learning to trust my doctors and be comfortable in doing what they told me..... wow! This was a biggie for me....



Feburary - the trip out of state, my beloved “x-stop” implanted by my back surgeon, and finally some relief, followed by rehab and learning many new ways to help myself. Believe me, this girl was now on a mission..... All of the things I had been putting off was now going to get taken care of, come hell or high water....



Speaking of “high water”, March brought the long awaited bladder surgery... oh the wonders of modern medicine!



April and May brought another spring with yard work, and more rehab on the back. With that came the realization that the more I used my back and legs the less convinced I was the surgery had worked as well as I had hoped.... May also heard my eye doctor tell me my cataracts need to come off but he wanted to wait and let me rebuild some before I had yet another surgery.....



June came and went with catching up on some entertaining.....new and exciting changes at our business, and getting the camper ready to take off for some fishing and summer dog daze of relaxation.......It was also about this time our kids reminded us that 2011 would be our 50th wedding anniversary and wanted us to start thinking about throwing a party or taking a trip or something special.... they put us to work coming up with some plans and ideas.. (more brain exercise)! and.....more discoveries. I had a project now that I could put my organizational skills back to work. I’ve always been a list maker, but this would be a big test....




July and August found us meeting up and renewing friendships with long distance family we had not seen in a long time, new friends, good exercise, good campfire cooked foods, and beautiful scenery......



And then September....fall, my favorite time of the year..... except for the fact that I had to meet with all my doctors for checkup’s..... where had the time gone?

September 13th blood test for CT scan

September 14th CT scan ordered by the cancer doctor

September 21st fasting blood test for regular doctor yearly check up which included all of the tests the heart doctor also wanted.

September 30th appointment with the cancer doctor to tell me that even though I still have lymphoma I am still in remission.

October 5th MRI for back doctor

October 13th appointment with heart doctor

October 19th heart machine stress test

October 22 appointment with heart doctor to tell me I passed all my tests and pleased all of the doctors with my progress.

And a very long talk with my back doctor which set the seed for some new revelations.



November brought the beginning of some much needed dental work

An eye exam to schedule cataract surgery

My 68th birthday, a wonderful Thanksgiving..........



Wth all of that going on I really had not had much time to write.... plus I needed a break from thinking and needed to concentrate on doing....... thus, my absense from my blog and a lot of communication with others....



And here we are..... December and it’s almost over with! We had a wonderful Christmas, and the best present of all arrived early in the month on a shopping trip ........ Quite by accident I learned more about my back pain and some things I can do to help it......



Following the MRI in October the doctor told that other areas of my back are now breaking down..... It’s so hard to explain to others but I am honestly used to the regular back pain and that news neither surprised or saddened me.... I can deal for now with the pain in my back. What has been the worst all along is the pain in my right hip/leg which prevents me from walking and being as active as I want.



During the long talk with my back doctor he explained that at this point he does not want to start further surgery on my back..... as one thing will normally lead to another once the process of fusion’s, rods, screws & invasive spinal surgery begins. Because of other’s I know who has dealt with the same I understand what he’s telling me and agree. As long as I can movtivate enough to get by for now, I do not want to start that at this time..... He suggested we try to focus on that right hip/leg area with additional shots......



I was even leery about that so I then set the goal in my own mind of focusing on the particular areas that was shutting me down.



Here it was December and time to go Christmas shopping which always includes a trip to the big mall about 40 miles for us..... A full day of walking around with few places to rest, not only was I dreading it, I knew I had my work cut out for me.....



In the parking lot the walk just to get to the store is a challenge, so I’m setting in the car and told sweet thang, we’re going to do this different today.... I am going to walk VERY, very slow, stop often and try extremely hard not to irritate this hip before the day even starts..... He agreed we didn’t have to hurry so out of the car I get. He also agreed to be the money man so I didn’t have to carry a purse....



I had also mapped out a route before we left home, I knew exactly which stores I wanted to go to, which direction they were from the esculators, which level etc...so off we go. I forced myself to stay at a slow pace, if I felt a twinge I stopped, every time I seen a chair I set down for awhile.......



Before I knew it, even though several hours had passed we had most of our shopping done! As purchases were made sweet thang would carry a load to the car and I would take another break..... There is no way I could have done this on my own but the results was one of the biggest discoveries of the year.....



My hip had not locked up once.... It was tired and it was sore but the angonizing sharp pain that usually shut me down had not set in..... volla’! had I actually uncovered a way to survive this?..... I believe so. Had I been unknowingly irritating this all along because I had refused to slow down and allow it to go at it's own pace?



By giving into my limp, letting my body go in the direction it wanted to and not forcing it with irritating pressures and speed, I had survived being on it most of the day....



I’m going to end this now.....my year in review



Tomorrow is another day and in another 48 hours it will be another year..... I’ve got much to do but just had to get on here at least once more this year..... As the new year begins I know my discoveries will also continue and I’ll share them with you. It will be an exciting year as there will be a lot of exciting things happening...... I will keep ya posted...........