"Bites that Bind"

Hello world, (Again)… Though it’s only been a week, there has been much happen since I last posted.
Just when I thought I had the world by the tail and was ready to go out and conquer mount Everest, I rushed out to do warm ups for the trek up the mountain, and made it 5 times around the outside of the house and back, two days in a row, only to be knocked back on my butt.

Through all of this I could not get it thru my thick (and sick) head why I wasn’t like I used to be! To “push through” is all I’ve ever known and I think most of us are like that.

Not having the energy to move much else, I put my fingers to work and started doing “thank you” notes to friends and family who had sent flowers, brought in food for the family, did errands, and sent prayers and cards. I sent them to medical personnel who handled me with compassion & dedication, the helicopter guys, and even to my immediate family who “directed the show” and has been at my side through all of it. It was an emotionally draining task that needed to be done, that I wanted to do, and I did finally wade my way through them all even tho words do fail me and seem very inadequate.

I have finished now except, this thank you to my “cyber buddies”. “gegabites” that bind, people I have never met face to face before, strangers really. Most of you I met through the WM cancer board on the internet……Heidi, Sylvia, Heather, Melissa, Lori, Wendy, your words of encouragement and prayers have meant so much to me. I need to tell you how much you mean to me. Not only were you there to lend strength when I found out I had cancer, you’ve been there to encourage me thru this heart attack stuff. “Out there” has a whole new meaning since the internet was invented. Out there is only a “heart beat” away, as is friendship. Girlfriends, you more than rock, you rule! ☺

And a special thank you must be given to a couple of guys who I also met on that board.……Ed and Mark, each of them very unique in their own way. They have been through it. They have both been through enormous rehabilitation processes. They have both been through watching their bodies be attacked and they have had both had to rebuild and still work hard to continue rebuilding. They are both very stubborn and ornery, and caring, and they more than touched my heart. They understood like no one else understood. Because of their sincerity, they have threatened to come and set on me to keep me down, kick my butt, and torture me….they have lectured me on my impatience, they have yelled at me and cussed me out, they have sent tips for slowly coming back the proper way, both physically and mentally, they have cautioned me, they have instructed me, they have listened to me whine, they understood when I couldn’t share my frustrations with anyone else, they’ve helped me count the days, they have given me mind and body and spirit exercises, and they constantly have pointed out to me that I am a big pain in the ass but they have never stopped encouraging me. To Ed and Mark, “thank you”. I’m trying really hard to follow orders, and you know how hard that is, but I am trying. An even bigger thank you to their families for sharing them with me……Your loves have been my saviors.

I think this is all a part of my on-going recovery….. I am rejoining the world, albeit not as fast as I would like, but I am getting there nevertheless, and thanking everyone who has played a part in that, is part of it. I now know I cannot do it alone.

To all of you “out there”, you are an important part of my life. There is so much more I want to say but just can’t right now. We’ve never met in person, I don’t even have addresses to send you snail mail notes…..our “bites that bind” are in cyber space, but they are there and there are more of them than you can count. Bless you.