Lemon Juice and a Wire Brush

You’ve heard the saying, a lily-white completion?

The first year I went to school was in 1947, I was 4 years old. After a few weeks, the teacher sent a note home to my parents telling them that “your daughter has dirty elbows!” Now in defense of my mother, I did bathe daily and I was always kept clean and was taught proper hygiene. However; That did not make my elbows any different.

That evening, Mom went out to Dad’s pickup and got his wire rig brush…. It was part of the tool collection he carried with him at all times when working, and was used to scrub down a rusty connection on pipe, or clean a rig floor or pump jack parts that may need shined. She brought it in the house, I was placed up on a stool in front of the kitchen sink and while holding my arms under running water, we scrubbed my elbows with lye soap and the wire brush. Afterwards, she taped lemon slices on my elbows and I slept with them. I also wore the lemon slices on weekends. No, it wasn’t child abuse; it was simply the only way my Mother could think of to make my elbows nicer. This must have went on for several weeks and there may have been a little improvement. As time went on, she and I both became tired of the routine and it was stopped. Inevitably my elbows would turn dark and rough again, and we’d start the process over…. This went on for several years and even as an adult, I have tried it a few times.

My Dad always had a lot of freckles, and some were raised. I once asked him about them and he told me they were “catfish bumps”….. Catfish have spots, but do not have bumps so where he came up with that I will never know, but nevertheless I believed him, and later when my freckles turned into bumps, I just assumed I had the same catfish bumps he did. I will never forget the look on the doctor’s face the first time I went to a dermatologist and when he ask what the concern was with my skin and I told him I had catfish bumps…. This was at age 40. Ok, so I was naïve….. :)

The doctor informed me what I really had was “seborrhea keratosis”. An inherited non cancerous condition that was not serious and nothing to worry about. I was told then to keep an eye on any that may change in appearance or become wart like. I was also lectured about “vanity”. I have never been a vain person so I dismissed all of it from my mind and accepted that I would just live with the condition as I am. This was fine except in the past few years some of them have gotten worse, along with my elbows being dirty looking again, so I made this skin appointment with another dermatologist.

I went through the whole story with him, he examined me all over and again gave me the same diagnosis of seborrhea keratosis. When he looked at my elbows he told me I had psoriasis on them, and had probably always had it, and guess what……that due to medical advances, wire brushes and lemon juice are no longer used as a cure. Ha! We both had a good laugh over that one. He gave me cream to use on them and said they would probably clear up within a few weeks, but in the future if it acted up again just start using the cream again and leave the wire brush in the garage and the lemons in the fridge. Whew!

As far as my “catfish bumps”, he used liquid nitrogen….. He sprayed it on 44 spots on various locations of my body. Lectured me on using sun screen, gave me some salve to use on my face and sent me home. He said from now on to call them “sparkles”…… :)

So I’m a little odd....... but this is the way the good Lord made me. I have catfish bumps….uh….sparkles..... Maybe you have one eyebrow lower than the other one or a crooked toe or a knot on your chin. The point is, as long as it’s not a danger to your health learn to love it and accept it as your own. God gave us our features and they are what makes us who we are. They make us unique, and individuals.

Part of taking care of yourself is accepting those special qualities you cannot change and learning to love every part of you. By the way, the doctor gave me permission to be vain if I wanted, and if another sparkle appears that I cannot live with, just come in and he’ll get rid of it. As for the rest of the brown spots…..well, I yam who I yam……they remind me "I’m me and there is so much more to me"……. :)