The Search

Of everything
There is so much more than a name
There is so much more than an age
There is so much more than what you see
There is so much more beyond me


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Our Year, 2011 to date - Part IV

Sweet thang continued to improve at home and is doing fine today. We’re both just very thankful that he had the foresight to tell me and the doctor he was not well.


The plan was……3 rounds of Taxol & Carboplatin, given every 21 days. My hair begin falling out on the 11th day…. With every treatment I had bone pain on days 2, 3, 4, & 5, and a complete lack of energy. Also I developed neuropathy, (nerve damage) in my finger tips, toes, and feet. My fingernails are pretty much gone. I also went through some periods of time with taste changes, nausea, and mouth sores.


Most Chemotherapy is accumulative….meaning that it stays in your system, so by the time the next treatment comes around, your blood counts are somewhat lower than they were at the beginning of the one before… Also each treatment is a little stronger as it joins the prior treatment. By the end of 3 rounds, my side effects were quite severe. Bone pain and Neuropathy being the worst.


I would be scanned after 3 treatments to see if it was doing the job it was meant to do….. Contain the tumors with no new growth….. with a treatment at the end of June, the middle of July and the second week of August, the summer had slipped away….. I was scanned the end of August with my next appointment with the oncologist early in September. On September 2nd the oncologist begin to speak almost before he entered the room….as the door opened I could see the look of disappointment on his face as he told me, “It doesn’t appear that the treatment worked like we had hoped. There was slight growth in the main lung tumor.” He continued that the good news was that none of the other lesion’s had appeared to have any change at all which meant they had been kept contained, but with the growth on the lung tumor we were going to have to try something else.


He had considered a “clinical trial” but there was another drug that had shown promise…. Alimta which had been used as a first line therapy in mesathelioma with some success, was now being considered as a second line therapy for other lung cancers…… I would have a B-12 shot that day, start on a regular daily dose of folic acid, and receive my first treatment on September 9th……


Which in a nutshell brings us to today…… The 2nd treatment was on Sept. 29th, and my next treatment is scheduled for October 21st. (which is the 3rd one of this drug Alimta). A couple of weeks after that I will be scanned again to see if this drug is doing any good. If so they may continue with more of it, and if not we’ll wait and see.


Rather than continue on with postings of what this has done to me emotionally, and physically, the feelings I have been through, and the feelings I have today….. I’m going to end this now and go back to some other stories….possibly posting a few more “old stories” which I think you will enjoy reading. I am SO MUCH MORE than this cancer I’m speaking of.


I would like to leave you on this posting with a current update that I am doing fine today! My blood cells have almost rebuilt back to normal levels, we took an overnight trip during the weekend, we’re going to visit my aunt tomorrow who is a shut in, and I’ll be there for my treatment on Friday. My good days go quickly so I need to cram as much into them as possible while I am having them.


As I sit here writing, “sweet thang” is tinkering out in garage…. I decided for whatever reason to finally bring this blog up to date…. I cough now and then and have some soreness on the lung tumor side….and I take stomach pills for what they think is an ulcer…. There is a possibility I have cracked a rib due to a fall I took a couple of months ago and it does not seem to be going away. I am also still fighting the old back pain, and this time of year I have been dealing with pollen allergies… I have also developed a couple of new food allergies I’ll tell you about in some later postings…rather interesting I think. Otherwise, I am doing quite well, not ready yet to stop treatments so if this drug doesn’t work I am hoping he has another one to offer….. If not I will have some more learning to do…..


I will close this with the best advice I’ve been given to date – Take it “One day at a time”….. I know for sure my saga will end in death, but then your’s will too…….

I came back this morning and edited this..... The last sentence sounds so mean. I didn't mean it to be that way. A better way to say it is that my condition is terminal - as of yet there is no cure for lung cancer and not a lot of hope. Depending on how aggressive it is, one is given from 6 months to possibily 5 years. Because it has already spread in me, my prognisis probably will not reach the maximum. I can't out guess it.

The point I wanted to make is that none of us know how long we'll have on this old earth but when the end is thrown right in your face you have no choice but to deal with it. I've decided I hope to make the most of whatever time I have left, and I urge the reader to do the same...... Live it while you have it and don't let a few aches and pains stop you from seeing and doing the most you can..Until you can't any more.......Until then, there is “so much more”…..

2 comments:

Nina P. said...

There is a country song that goes along with your post... life like you are dying... and it too is not a sad song... it is a song of enjoying, doing, being all you can be, now today thi very moment... for as you say... no one really knows about tomorrow.. So i toast to you today, a toast of Love for all things, a toast for looking at all the glories of nature of life, a toast for all the yesterdays and memories, a toast for this very moment that I can look at those I love and tell them how much they have meant and mean to me.... Today dear blog friend, across the miles, I toast you, your strength, your courage, your unique soul that lights up those areound you.... May today be the best it can be.. May it be filled with Love, with memories, with laughter, and with so much Light. haling Blessings to you all ways, and always. Love and Light,
Nina P

Mary said...

Nina, thank you for your prayers and understanding.... I honestly feel each prayer that comes my way.....

My friend "shark" is the one who always reminds me "one day at a time", and that's what keeps me going. I'm anxious to go back and catch up with some of your postings as well... love tarzan