So Much More: Night

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Night

Night
Beautiful black
Closing out the world
And the world rejoices
Doors are locked
Bringing peace of the day
And so much more
Time for reflection
And for ending
Time for celebration
And for rest
Time for renewal and respite
And for hope
Night
The time you can see light
Light lives against the backdrop of
Night
Beautiful black
A jewel in it's own right

2 comments:

John Saunders said...: So much more indeed! "Night"
lights up my life. I am reading
a commentary of St. John of the Cross's poem "Dark Night". The
two of you both have an
uplifting message. "Night" ---
your "Night" is a godsend!
Godspeed to you. May your neck
connect your heart and mind for
many years. Hugs from John S.; December 16, 2008 at 8:27 AM
Mary said...: John, thank you so much for leading me to "st. john of cross's poem, Dark Night.. I had not read it before and OMG, it is so beautiful..... oh, to be able to write like that! By sending me in his direction you have given me "so much more"...and thank you, thank you. Hugs back from tarzan.; December 16, 2008 at 12:19 PM

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Tarzan?......why tarzan?

As noted in my profile, I was diagnosed with follicular non hodgkins lymphoma on November 30th, 2007. We were on a trip to the grand canyon area when I first became sick and noticed a lump on the side of my neck. Following an exam, many tests, and a surgical biopsy, I learned that for now I have a very slow growing lymphoma and over the years they have learned that immediate treatment will not change the outcome.

This is very different from when my Mother died of it in 1976. At the time hers was discovered in 1971, they saturated her with radiation over a 5 year period of time. Since then they now know that since it is not curable anyway, they would rather keep the patient off of treatment as long as possible. The modern terminology for this is "watch and wait".

At the time I have no further symptoms that I can not live with. I am low on energy, but part of that can be contributed to just age! Though I have some damaged veins in my neck due to the surgery, the nodes in that area come and go and have not caused any concern yet.

Watch and wait is NOT an easy way to live, we know the lymphoma will flare up again some day, so that tends to keep one aware of any changes. Of course I worry and of course I have problems with stress. However; since I look to my oncologist for guidance and rely on his wisdom, I am following his suggestion of pretending to be like Tarzan....... Tarzan in the movies who, while swinging through the jungle, always had a vine to grab as he was going from tree to tree. My oncologist has assured me over and over again that the vine would be there when I need it. As I grab one vine, another will be growing for me as I move through the jungle.

He explained to me that research and improvements in treatments are growing at a rate that is nearly faster than the growth of my cancer.

The message for all FNHL cancer patients, is to become "tarzan" like..... go ahead and climb that tree, stay alert, live life, and when you to need to reach out for that vine it WILL be there! As will the next one, and the next one, and the next one. Go ahead and swing through life and do it with confidence..... As with everything, there is so much more to the story, and so much more to life than cancer.

So Much More

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Night

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