Now who the hell really cares?

My world is expanding, but how necessary and important that is, depends on whether or not you really care. Thanks to my curiosity, and my love of the written word, and the fact that my handwriting is horrible and I hate doing snail mail, and I forever lose pens,...... I do e-mails on a regular basis with several friends and relatives. I belong to two forums, one heart attack related and one cancer related. Wait – make that 3 forums because I recently joined one to chat with others about the NBA playoffs. I now do my blog “so much more”, and I just joined “twitter”. Oh yes, I almost forgot, I also belong to the “caring bridge” sites where several post updates about serious illnesses. At the moment I am tracking two acquaintances on their sites.

I love e-mail – it is the best tool ever delivered for staying in touch with those you care about. Of course my complaint with it is that those who do not love to write end up using it to forward stuff….. Therefore, I get dozens of forwards every day about any number of subjects . Instead of writing me their news, they send me an unbelievable picture of a snake swallowing a man or other subjects too numerous to mention here...... OR, they call, me, and I hate to talk on the phone! Just learn to write, would you please? It’s right there at your fingertips and it’s free! What more could you ask for!

My blog…..this blog……I love it! I love it because it’s mine. If I’m in the mood to take a stab at poetry I can and no one cares if it’s good or not. If I’m in the mood to be philosophical that’s ok too, I can babble on about any subject in the world I choose to and people can take me seriously or not. If I want to tell an old story I can without having to watch your boredom. I don’t have to be a professional photographer to share my pictures, and if you are so inclined to comment on something I do write or show, then you’ve made my day. I can empty my emotions, or otherwise dump on you and make myself feel better, I can whine and complain and if you don’t want to read about it you don’t have to, I can be totally stupid and you can relate to me or not. Or I can share a laugh or a hug and help make your day. Or, I can write nothing at all for no reason and no explanation to anyone.

The forum’s….. In the beginning when I was first diagnosed with cancer and scared to death, the lymphoma cancer forum was a Godsend. I learned a lot about the disease, I received the reassurance I needed, I made cyber friends with similar problems, and it was wonderful. Then I discovered that it was taking my life over…..literally! For receiving the support I had needed, I felt I needed to give back, so every other hundred or so people who joined that particular board, I tried to support in return…. That led to hours and hours of my trying to give comfort to a lot of people with a lot of serious issues, to the point that I found myself grieving for them every day. I could not let that continue and save my sanity….. it was just too much. Yes, a person can care too much. I visit infrequently now but still stay in touch with 4 or 5 who mean a lot to me.

I am relatively new to another forum that is all about women with heart problems. It is useful to me for now and has enlightened me to the fact that there are many women in the world just like myself who deal with more than one health issue in their life. In fact, I was surprised to learn how many! The heart forum does not seem to be as personal as the other one, the drama is less and the gals do not seem to be so chit-chatty. So far I am enjoying it and it has not required much of my time or me. We'll see how it goes.

When I get a notification that there has been a new post on one of the caring bridge sites, I do log in and try to post a reply….It is difficult to feel their pain especially when it involves a child, but I try to offer encouragement as I can.

And then,...... I heard about twitter and my curiosity got the best of me. I’m not sure I understand it yet, or what makes it any different than a regular “instant message” site…. (If any of you can clarify that for me, I would appreciate it). A great thing did happen, since I joined, a long lost relative contacted me, so it’s been wonderful for us to catch up with each other’s lives….. However: You only get to write 140 characters in one tweet…… 140 letters and spaces and punctuation marks is hardly enough to tell anyone I’m alive….but then I’m sort of mouthy and alive does not necessarily mean alive and well…… Did I tell her I went to the grocery store yesterday? Do you think she really cares? She's a sweetheart, but I really didn’t think so.

After she and I made our initial contact and proceeded to visit for a few days, I started checking out other twitter sites….like Oprah for instance. I checked it this morning and there was a tweet that she was going to some play, then another tweet saying how much she liked it! Keeping in touch is one thing, but tracking each other’s movements 24/7 with dozens of other people? Somehow that does not seem healthy to me, not does it serve to accomplish anything. I am very confused over this whole, daily, worldwide conversation that everyone seems to be having with each other. Who the hell really cares if Oprah goes to a Broadway play or not….that’s really not a part of my world. Or, did you know that Ashton Kutcher, (whoever he is) has a kazillion and some followers? Oprah and Ashton will be taken off of my “follow list”, do ya think they’ll miss me? Ha! On twitter, there is the standard question of “what are you doing”? I actually got caught up in this enough that I jumped right on there and said that I was sitting in my living room having coffee…… Such a profound statement!......not.

There are those, myself included, who probably shouldn’t bother answering that question.

The Internet has been wonderful for me, and I assume for a lot of others. It is an important and useful aspect of our lives and a stationary item in most homes. I love being able to find the answer to a question immediately, I love being able to keep up with world news at the touch of a key, I love knowing that those I care for are ok and living their life and their dream, but hearing that you just pulled a tick off your dog Oprah?...... please spare me. One friend of mine confessed that she liked “facebook” better than twitter….. Now I have not tried facebook yet, but how many ways of talking and writing does one girl need? As wonderful as it probably is, I think I’ll skip that one. To each his own, ya know?

Here’s raising my glass to communication, but spare me the details ok? I’m too busy trying to figure out how to block the idiot who tweeted to me on my twitter that he has the answer to all my financial problems and all I have to do is send him one thousand dollars and he’ll be sure to tell me how.

Oh, did I tell ya?.........I love my blog, there is so much more to come, and I promise I won't try to sell ya nothin.........