my journey

The Greater Mystery
By Chacon
When facing a life-threatening illness, it forces you to start digging deeper. What is offered? Is this a blind, dead-end alley or just a narrowing curve that I can’t see beyond? What goals are easily within my reach? And what ones that would appear far-fetched or beyond my reach are worth pursuing anyway? “Nothing ventured, nothing gained…”
……………………………………..

I peeked Ed; I actually stuck my head out and looked around the bend. Wow! You’re right! There’s light, there’s hope, there’s acceptance, there’s power, there’s options, and there is life! There are possibilities out there! It looks like a very complicated road though…a bit scary.

I’m anxious to leave this dark alley behind me, I’m ready to tell it goodbye and I don’t want to look back. I’ve been here for the better part of year now, and it’s closing in on me. It was ok for a while, I needed its security, but now I’m ready to move on.

As with all moving things, I know I’ll have to stop and fuel up along the way. Energy does not come cheaply, and so many take it for granted. I pray I will have enough to get around the first curve.

There are ditches on each side of the road, the weeds grow up to the edge of it but I think that will help me stay in the middle in case I wobble to one side. There are lots of curves, it is narrow, and some bumps, and it’s rough in places, but maybe if I go really slow and take my time…..

There’s also guide posts and signs, almost like a map and some of them shows arrows which should help guide me…….

There are a couple of “caution” lights, and right at the beginning there is a “stop” light, but it has a button on it where I can change it to green when I’m ready. There are also some fence posts along part of it, so if I start limping I can use them like a crutch.

I see where there are forks in the road taking off in different directions. I think I’ve already taken a few of those so I won’t bother with those particular ones again. I went to “Self Pity” once and didn’t like it at all… I also took that route down to “Fear” and knew immediately I wanted the hell out of there. It actually took many months to leave, I had to wait until some new roads were constructed and then they seemed to go every which way, it was very confusing for a long time, but I was finally able to find my way out. The place called “Needy” was the worst; it was full of stale matter that had been sloughed off by others. I got my fill of that quickly.

I also see a few hitchhikers along the road…others, no doubt who are also going “somewhere”, but not sure of their destination. Maybe I could give them a lift. Sometimes it’s better to travel with a group. Many of the more brave journeymen have gotten a lot further than I have, and they’ve had some really bad experiences, but they’re still going! If I get stuck it’s good to know there are some “tow” services around that will pull me out and get me on the road again.

Some of the places these roads lead to I was at once, but I haven’t traveled to in a long time so I’m anxious to revisit them. Being in “Control” again will be exciting. It’s full of power and the structures I built while there are awesome, and I can choose which streets to build on again!

I will stop now and then to take a look at “Option”. I hadn’t visited there for a long time, I keep forgetting about it! It’s such a huge place, and silly me, I see now where it’s grown even larger. Many of it’s street signs are blurry, but if really look close I should be able to sort them out. They keep tearing down the old barriers and putting up new ones with self lifting gates. I hope I can find the strength to raise a few of them and venture in and out….

“Accept” is a very comfortable little area, not especially pretty, but very cozy, it’s a good place to rest for a while and reevaluate my route…. It has all one way streets though, and they all lead out of town….. which means you have to keep going.

I just don’t know about “Hope”….it pops up in the most unexpected places and then disappears again. The directions to its center are not clear yet so I will keep searching for it.

“Life” is my favorite, and I can’t wait to get there again. I remember there are people laughing there, they are carefree and happy and they seem to have a purpose. They can come and go at their own pace; they stay involved in all of the activities in town. There’s no red lights or stop signs in that place.

Have you seen what they’ve done to “Vine” street? I am amazed. The population there used to be so small, but it has grown beyond my wildest imagination… almost around every corner there is something to grab onto.

I already know my first stop, I’ll get there on the 15th. I’ll get a check up, and I’m pretty sure he will direct me to the rear trunk mechanic. Both will probably yell at me to get better traveling shoes, (though I’d much rather go bare foot). You see, it takes awhile to get all my stuff together and pack it properly. I’ve postponed this trip many times because I couldn’t get the route organized….. Finding the map was the hardest thing, it was hard to see in the darkness of the alley and there were a lot of obstacles in my way. I also have a good pick and shovel, I’m sure I’ll need to stop and dig along the way but I think I’m up to it. After all, clearing those passages is part of it, right?

Well, I must go now and get started on this journey……There is so much more to do and time is slipping away from me. I have thought about this a lot, I took a deep breath, and now have my map in front of me. I have charted my course and barring any bad turns or detours in the road, I will get there……
It’s just a matter of taking that first step, everybody move out of the way…… (but stay close by in case I need you, ok?)
Here I go………….. Lets see, how far is it to “life”?