Today's Challenge

It’s tough being a model…… you know, the beautiful people who have the perfect bodies, the perfect hair do’s, the professional makeup assistants, who dress perfectly…….or at least they would look perfect even in a gunny sack?

Well, today is my day. I am off on a shopping trip with my daughter to search for a new outfit to wear to my 47th high school class reunion.

You must understand that in my mind, everyone else there will not have changed one iota over the past 47 years, especially my husbands old girl friends….. They will be still be the little high school cuties they were in 1961. Of course that is how I expect myself to look.

Today will be like all shopping trips….. Do I wear comfortable walking shoes? If so, that means I’ll have to untie them every time I go into a dressing room to try on yet another garment. If I wear sandals or shoes that are easier to remove, it means putting my back thru spasms as I tromp from store to store. Decision one will be which shoes to wear.

Dressing rooms, God’s little torture chambers for old ladies. They all look alike and all of them hold the same anguish. Full length mirrors are something I normally stay away from, but every dressing room has at least one. The trick is in trying to ignore it as you strip off and pray there are no hidden cameras lurking around.

Once you have removed your clothes, there hangs that outfit you brought with you and thought would be just perfect. The first challenge is to get it off the hanger. By the time all buttons are undone, zippers unzipped and snaps unsnapped, you’re worn out and the sweats have started. Gently you remove it from the hook on the wall and begin the process of putting it on your body. Between the magnetic theft tags which pull everything out of shape, and the numerous little cardboard tags that give information on the size, maker, type of fabric, price, etc….. and which always sticks out in the wrong places and scratches you everywhere) this is no easy task.

Once on, you turn to look in the mirror…. The outfit that you thought would be “just perfect”, does not even come close to fitting. Since my figure would rival that of any well built bulldog, (short, thick in the middle, square, and with a skinny hips & legs) it is not what one would consider easy to fit.   Well, at least you have a place to start and something to work from. Maybe the next size up would drape nicer, maybe a different color would enhance the color of your eyes, maybe a different style would look a little more modern, By now you’re out of breath, the sweat is pouring from your brow (and everywhere else) and the clerk shows up outside the door saying “do you like it, is there anything else I can bring you”? You hurry and start undressing again and by now you’ve reached near death and all you can mutter is…….”Thank you but no, I think I’ll keep looking”. You redress, rush out of that store and on to the next one only to repeat the process. By now your hair looks like you've brushed it with a mixer.   There is so much more to this story and I”ll keep you updated. If I do indeed die in one of the dressing rooms today, I have enjoyed my blog thus far and hope you’ve enjoyed it too.