Happy Anniversary

Through the past year I have relived “that day” a year ago, over and over in my mind. And now a year later….today, December 23^rd….2008 to 2009, I’m alive, Trying to find my way, the person that God wants.

I have asked my family a hundred questions about what all happened, every second of it….. I desperately had to know every tiny detail, and there are still questions that pop up out of nowhere.

There are tons of mixed emotions running through me as I start this day….. a bit anxious, still not fully understanding why it happened, or why I am still here. I’m a little nervous waiting for the evening hour to arrive and pass, (around 5:00 p.m.), and will be glad when the day is over.

I know I’m different.

In ways better and in ways worse. How much different? I’ll never know. I’m here because of the heroic efforts of many, and because God said I needed to come back. . I’m very thankful to God for a second chance but I’m still trying to figure out what to do with it.

It’s been a hard year because of my efforts to “get back to normal”, which normal for me, is the only life I’ve ever known, but now I’m striving to add to it and create a new normal.

Physically, mentally, and spiritually…. With relationships, finding my place in the world, a renewed vow to improve a lot of things, including myself and how I interact with the world around me.

I’m sure someone has said before that “through death you find and know life”….? If not I’m saying it, and I know it’s true.

I will spend a lot of time today counting my blessings, of which there are many. My life is here, in the moment…… I’m just trying to make the most of what was given to me…. Second chances are great, but they hold a lot of mysteries because the second time around you realize how much you didn’t know the first time around…

Little did I know when I was born that there was so much more to learn….

Little did I know when I died and came back again, there would still be so much more……. This time, I’m paying a little closer attention… Have I told you lately that I love you?

I remind myself often, that it didn’t happen to just me, it affected all of you as well. Everyone I know, everyone who reads my blog, all of my internet friends, local friends and those far away, and the love of my life that I live with every day, and my family scattered near and far……

It’s your anniversary too……

A big thank you to all who have traveled this past year with me…..

Thank you for your patience,

Thank you for overlooking many things, words and actions…

Thank you for your care and concern

Thank you for crying with me and laughing with me

Thank you for your encouragement

Thank you for what you’ve taught me

Thank you for being there.

We’ve got a long ways to go and a lot to discover together.

Happy Anniversary to all of you………and me too….

oh yes, and Merry Christmas too…..