That Which I Never......

That Which I Never......

It’s goodbye time….. 2009 is gone, and so are a lot of other things.

Age is a strange thing….. I read once where it’s about age 50 when most of us realize that we will probably never be wealthy, or even close to it. That for common, ordinary, working folks it’s doubtful that we’ll become billionaires over night….or millionaires, or even anywhere close to having an unlimited amount of money to spend…..That’s honestly ok with me, I was probably around 50 when I figured out that I had all I really needed and the lack of money was never a big issue to me….

But now, at age 66 it’s time to get real with myself. There are some things that will just never be, and it’s time to come to grips with them.

***One thing that does bother me is, it’s a pretty sure bet that I will never be a Radio City Rockette….. I will never stand in line with the world’s most famous precision dance troupe, I will never wear the sparkly costumes, and I will never kick my leg higher than my head in time to the music, or tap my way thru the 12 days of Christmas……. Yes, once in my life I wanted that, but since one has to be between 5’6” and 5’10” to even audition, and since I never grew past 5’3”… that dream died a long time ago, but I want you to know, that even at age 66, I am a Rockette in my heart and my feet.

***Though I have my own belief’s on how cancer’s form, I will never be the research scientist published in the AMA for finding “the cure”. Sad to say, I am sure I couldn’t pass chemistry 101…… Not now anyway, and when I could have…..?.....my head was too full of other things…. Nonetheless, I pray that I will live to see that cure come, even though I won’t be the one to discover it……

***Even though I’m sure I could, and as much as I would love to, I will probably never be ask to oversee the planning of a State dinner at the white house….

***Only in my wildest dreams can I envision me living in a tree house in a rain forest….. It is not totally beyond the realm of possibilities, but the chances of it really happening is getting slimmer each day. Indeed, Tarzan lives within me….

***I know I’ll never get to meet Jim Thorpe in person since he passed away in 1953……. But Jim Thorpe was my idol as a child…. I used to pretend that he was running along beside me across the pastures and on the creek bank….If you’ve never read the story of Jim Thorpe’s life, you must, and who knows, maybe I’ll meet him in Heaven some day…. I just want him to know how much he means to me, and how sorry I am for all that society put him thru…

***I will never live in a mansion….. Granted, this does tie into the large sums of money that I said I didn’t care about, but a “great home” does matter to me. For years I pretended in my mind what it would be like to sit in my morning room making out menu’s for the week to give to the kitchen chef, to plan parties in the grand ballroom, and to over see the gardener’s duties. I have designed that home in my mind hundreds of times…. The twisting, grand staircase, the long halls, the mammoth rooms, the marble balconies, the morning room with my desk and daily delivery of fresh flowers, the glistening, exotic wooden table that would seat 30 guests in my dining room, and the cheerful and warm parlor where I would greet those who came to visit me…..

***I doubt that I will ever write the “great American novel”…..ah yes, I know many have done it late in life and became exceptionally great author’s… Probably if I started today I would be in my 80’s when I finished it, and there is so much more to get done…..

***I will never sing at the “Grand Ole Opery”…… I did get to visit the old Ryman Auditorium and even stand on the stage where so many great performers has stood, but alas, no one will ever ask me to be a member or let me perform there as I had hoped when I was little…..

***I will never be in the olympics.... summer or winter!

You see, I’ve discovered that there comes a time in life when you really do have to let the old dreams go…… Listed above are only a few of them. I have craved for many things in my life that never happened, and I feel sad about that….. why, I do think there is a tear in my eye…..

I watched the “bucket list” and even though it was a nice movie, I set there all the way through it thinking boy that’s not what MY list would look like! I’m not going to go into my list right now because there probably isn’t enough room….. Suffice to say, there is one, as new dreams replace the old ones…

Surly I’m not the only one who have had to let go of “that which I never was, or never did, or never could, or probably never will…… have you reached the point where you’ve said goodbye to them yet?

It’s really a hard thing to do……